


steve's counseling service

by joshriku



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Character Analysis, F/F, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Post-Season/Series 03, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i love u steve, steve has a best friend after years of never having one, steve lgbtq protector master of matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 04:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19660159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshriku/pseuds/joshriku
Summary: Steve is used to dealing with kids. 95% of his friends are kids.He's just not used to being a matchmaker for them, or used to see Max and El asking him about girlfriends. More specifically, he's not used to Max and El asking him how to date each other.





	steve's counseling service

**Author's Note:**

> hi i love steve, lesbian defender.
> 
> i wrote this rn. easiest 3.4k of my life and its not even 4am GOD if i do have some mistakes it's all on me ;__;;;;;;;;; thank u for reading i love steve. i also mean to clarify i dont hate any ship on the show thats canon or not i just was like eh,, fanfic fun

“Yes, hello. I’m Steve, what can I help you with—” Steve stops talking as soon as he sees the familiar face. “Oh, hi. What are _you_ doing here?”

“Looking for a movie to rent?” Max tries, smiling.

“Sure,” Steve doesn’t believe her a little bit. “What do you want, Max?”

Max drops her façade immediately, rushing to the front of the counter and leaning in slightly. “I heard you... _understand_ … things.”

Steve frowns. “That’s a first one. Understand what?”

“You know, _things_ … _Girl stuff_ …” Max gets redder for every word she says, so Steve immediately holds his hands up. _Hell_ no. He’s not paid enough for this.

“Listen, Max, I think you’re neat and I appreciate you – but _that_ stuff is with Robin, or like, I don’t know? Nancy?” Steve hurriedly looks around to see if Robin has come back from her break. No sign of her and now Steve is dealing with a kid who probably had her _first_ period. Steve is friends with kids, but this is a first. “Do you need me to buy you like, pads, or–”

“ _Pads_? Oh my God, Steve, no,” Max laughs incredulously. “No, it’s not about periods! I know about that stuff!” she’s still laughing as Steve runs a hand through his hair, immensely relieved. “Relationship stuff.”

“Oh.” Steve cleans the counter, sitting down more properly and gesturing Max to sit too. “Lucas giving you trouble?”

“No, uh, that’s old news…” Max sighs a little. “We broke up. For real this time. Oh, hey, don’t look so dejected!”

“So it’s not _bad_ news?” Steve frowns. “Frankly, I’m kinda a little confused about _how_ I should be feeling right now. Rollercoaster much, Max?”

Max laughs again. “It’s all in good terms, y’know. We talked, settled on things, still best friends. He understands me and wishes the best for me.”

“Oh.” Steve pauses. “Kids are handling their relationship more maturely than me. So, what’s bothering you?”

“Well…” She’s blushing again. Steve doesn’t have much experience dealing with Max, so he stays quiet while she gathers courage again. “Word, um, goes around about you. That you – understand.”

“See, you keep saying that, but I’m not sure I understand,” Steve frowns a bit. “I don’t know if I understand this conversation right now.”

Her voice goes even quieter. “Robin… _likes…_ girls, right?”

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Steve immediately tries to not go stiff, because suddenly he’s aware of what he _understands_. Max needs him to react appropriately – the last thing Steve wants to do is to make a kid as young as her be scared of something quite nice like… _liking girls_. Robin had told him his reaction to treat things normally and comfort her in his own way had been nice, so – maybe that’s his new plan. Maybe he needs to just… treat it normally. Should he say to Max that he’s proud? They don’t know each other _that_ well, he’s not sure Max would appreciate a parental tone like that. Steve’s brain is being deeply fried.

“Yeah,” Steve settles for saying, anxiously (but trying to play it cool) cleaning the counter, even though it’s been clean for the past hour. “Girls are cool. Do _you_?”

“Yeah,” Max confesses quietly. It’s obviously a big deal.

God, when will he _buy_ a book about parenting?

“Cool,” Steve says, feeling lame all of a sudden. “It’s totally okay to like girls.”

“It is?”

“It _is_ ,” he stresses, because if he’s gonna get one thing right, it better be that. “Aren’t they just… pretty cool?”

“They _are_ pretty,” Max says, sounding a bit happier now. Maybe Steve is doing something right, so he decides to smile at her as comfortingly as he can. “ _And_ cool.”

“You’re right about that,” he signals Max to wait for a second as he gets himself a glass of water, then one for Max. Better. He needs water for emotional support. “So, uh, proud of you for saying that to me.”

Oh my God, he said the _proud of you_ thing. He is handling this child _wrong._ Where was Robin, anyway? Wouldn’t this work better with her? She’d have like, more tact. Not to mention she’d be able to put herself on Max’s shoes more. All Steve can agree on right now is that yeah, girls are amazing.

Max doesn’t seem offended, so Steve pats himself mentally.

“Thank you,” Max sips her water. “I figured; it’s not a bad thing, right? But like, it kind of feels like no one _else_ thinks that – I didn’t know who to come for advice. Like. A _friend_ advice. But like. An _adult_ friend, you know?”

“Oh. Oh Jesus,” Steve rubs his temples, “I’m an adult. Jeez. Christ. I’m an _adult_.”

“You okay there, Steve?” she asks, smiling a bit.

“Yeah, totally. Yeah. Just having a breakdown over the fact I’m technically _old_ , but it’s okay. Glad you, um, wanted my advice. Who’s the girl?”

“Uh…” Max swallows again. “Um, uh. El?”

“Wait, El?” Steve blinks. “When did – when did _that_ – when did she break up with Mike? No, you know what. Don’t need explanations. Let’s just focus on the issue at hand. Does El like you?”

“I don’t know,” Max sighs. “I just like her, a lot. Like. We have sleepovers sometimes, you know? And I kind of started thinking how I wanted to be like that with her – all the time. Holding her hand or hugging her, you know? And then… just… uh … kissing her?”

Steve smiles, “Cute. That’s really cute. So you haven’t told her this?”

“No!” she stares at Steve with wide-eyes, “What if I scare her? What if she’s not ready for another relationship? What if _I’m_ not ready for another relationship? So much to think about!”

“I dunno about you, but you seem ready to me,” Steve replies honestly. “Also, Max, it’s – it’s _El_. You think your feelings are gonna scare her? After _everything_ she’s been through?”

Max purses her lips. “Good point. So, uh… how does one… how do I pick up girls?”

He makes a note to tell Robin about _how_ people still considered him to have game, to be able to pick up girls, and to of course add one point to his winning side of the board. He cracks his knuckles, moves his neck a bit, and finally understands why he’s been contacted.

“You came to the _right_ place.” Steve grins. “Alright, so, I’m gonna share with you _special_ tips – I’ve helped Dustin, but El is quite different to other girls, but I suppose the math is the same.”

“The math?”

“Yeah, the math.” The door opens to show Robin walking in, apparently not surprised to see a new kid with him. “Hey! Woman of the hour! Robin, Max needs help to pick up El.”

Robin is even quicker than him, her eyes showing understanding and excitement in a second. “I’m on board. I’m the best at picking on girls.”

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend, then?” counters Steve.

“That’s harsh,” she says. “Why _don’t you_ have a girlfriend either?”

“…Okay, I see your point.”

Max laughs. “Starting to think asking two single people will not help me at _all_.”

Robin slings an arm across her shoulders, quick and friendly, and gives her a squeeze. “No, lady, we _can_. We will teach you the math.”

“Seriously, why do you call it the math?”

“It’s a thing,” Steve grins. “Let’s get started.”

So it turns out to be Steve teaching behind the counter with Robin sitting next to Max, cutting in every time she can and offering every bit of advice she has. So far, all they have gathered on the **List of things Max should do to date El,** has just been…

“…Treat her nicely, basically,” Max concludes. “Wow. Girls really have low standards after dating boys, huh?”

“Hey,” Steve pouts. Then he shakes his head. “Can’t blame y’all.”

Max keeps getting embarrassed about stuff Steve has to recreate with Robin – one of their tips has been to brush her hair behind her ear when she’s talking, and as soon as Max had pictured doing that to El, she had turned bright red. It was adorable, really. Steve is suddenly glad he got to hear about this.

Embarrassing tips later and lots of advice and _many_ comforting words from Robin (with reassuring thumbs up from Steve and saying _yeah, what she said_ ), Max looks satisfied with all the information gathered.

“Thank you, guys,” she looks so sincere. Steve wants to hug her, but that’s kind of weird because they barely know each other. “El’s gonna be staying for a whole month. Gonna… um… see where this goes?”

“Rooting for ya, kid,” Steve raises his fist up. “Here whenever you need us.”

“Yeah, totally. Good luck!”

Max smiles at them again, and hurries to leave the store. Robin turns around to stare at him with a big smile on her face.

“So now you’re not just a babysitter, you’re a relationship coach for helping little girls,” she laughs. “Good for you, Steve.”

“Really _not_ where I’d thought my life would go, but pretty cool nonetheless.”

“Haven’t you ever considered that?” Robin tilts her head a bit. “With the way you love children, kind of weird you haven’t majored in anything about helping them.”

“Huh,” Steve looks at the counter. “Huh. Guess you’re right.”

That was a thought for another day.

♡

“Yes, hey, I’m Steve and – _El?_ ” Steve blinks at the child walking in. El waves at him, nervously, shuffling through the aisles until she reaches the counter. “Hi. Didn’t expect to see you here. Who drove you here?”

“Nancy,” El replies, taking a seat in front of him—talk about kids Steve knew but never interacted with too much. “I…wanted to talk to you.”

Steve has a vague idea of what she wants to talk about, so he immediately sits down after bringing two glasses of water. El stares at him expectantly, so he explains:

“You look like you want to talk about stuff,” Steve says, and then a bit gentler to not scare her, “don’t want your throat to get dry.”

“Thank you,” El says. There’s a beat of silence, and then she says, “You’ve had… girlfriends, right?”

The way she phrased it was quite funny – like girlfriends was a thing Steve Harrington did once upon a time, a millennia ago, and never again.

“Yes, I’ve had girlfriends,” Steve agrees. God. Maybe it was something he did once upon a time and then never again. “Why do you ask?”

“How do I get one?”

Well, she definitely had quite the more different approach than Max did. It’s quite funny that there was only a day interval between their visits, but Steve doesn’t complain. It’s nice that they’re both realizing their feelings at the same time.

He can’t help but laugh a little. “You got any girls in mind, El?”

El nods slowly. “Max.”

“That’s great,” Steve’s brain is already failing, though. El gets straight to the point and he hasn’t stalled enough to get Robin back. “Um, how… uh… see, we need an approach point first. Ideally, you should think about confessing.”

“Confessing?”

“Yeah. Didn’t you confess to Mike?”

El frowns. He’s scared to have upset her, but then she says, “I think… it just happened. I haven’t confessed yet.”

“Oh, well. Here’s our approach point, then. What do you want to say to Max?”

“ _Be my girlfriend_.” El states. “Is that… okay?”

Steve’s lips go into a thin line. “You’re too dry, kid. Need to charm her more!”

Although, Max didn’t need any more charming, but _still_. El deserved some sick tips from him, just like Max did, and it’d be unfair to her to not do any moves on her own. Kid had to be _prepared_ for love war. He can picture it – the two kids trying to outconfess each other using all of Steve’s tips. An ideal, excellent world.

“How do I charm her more?”

“Well, compliment her! Butter her up, y’know!” Steve exclaims. Could Robin _please_ hurry up? “Tell her…” he puts his hand on his hip, raising his index finger. “Tell her how beautiful her eyes are.”

“She’s pretty, too.”

“Tell her all of that! The more, the merrier,” Steve explains, and El seems to get it. “Just be honest with your feelings. Girls _looooove_ honesty, you know? No lies.”

“Girls love honesty,” El replies like Steve _gets it_ , like he absolutely meant something deeper than that. “Do I… tell her all at once?”

“No, oh my God, you’ll overwhelm her,” El looks scared now. “Not in a bad way! Just. Look for the right moments, okay? Like… when to tell her eyes are pretty, or her hair looks good, all at the right time.”

“When do I ask her to be my girlfriend?”

“Are you _always_ in such a hurry? Jeez,” Steve shakes his head. “Relationships are all about patience, El. It’s about looking for the right _time_ to say things. It’s about –”

“Wow, do you want an award for most inspiring love speech?” Robin sneers, closing the door behind her. Steve glares at her. “Oh, new kid.”

“You remember El,” Steve sighs. “She’s having girl problems, with Max. Wants to ask her out.”

Robin’s eyes widen, connecting the two dots. “Oh! Okay, sure. Let’s get to it.”

Robin, as usual, always the more tactful one, making Steve be condemned to say _yeah, what she said_ over and over again. El looks lively with them, laughing at their ideas and propositions. He’s glad this is what she needs help with these days – dating and girls, and not, you know, her life in danger and everyone about to die. El deserves the cute, good nerves of asking your crush out.

“We’re having a sleepover soon again,” El comments to them before leaving. “I’m gonna try there.”

“We’re rooting for you!” Steve raises his fist again. “You can count on us for whatever.”

Surprisingly, El runs up to give him a hug, and it takes him a second to pat her back. This is weird. He’s known El for ages and doesn’t really remember ever hugging her. Huh. She moves on to hug Robin, but he’s still quite thinking about it.

“You should probably start asking to get paid for your love lessons,” Robin chuckles, “babysitting _and_ advising. What a life you lead.”

“I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or you’re serious.”

“Absolutely serious.”

He squints. “Still can’t tell.”

“Whatever you wanna take it, just keep it in mind.”

Steve squints still. Maybe he will keep it in mind, maybe he won’t. Whichever the case, the realization is there: he does like hanging out with kids and helping them in their little lives, but he’s not too sure what to do with that information.

So for now, he pushes the thought away: definitely will not keep it in mind for now.

♡

Max walks in with a big, big grin on her face around two days later. Steve gets up cautiously, hesitating whether to throw his fist on the air or not. Max announces, proudly: “I have a girlfriend!”

Steve _celebrates_. Robin was going to be ecstatic as soon as she found out — right now, she was kind of having a little cold back at her home, but as soon as she comes back, she _will_.

“That’s great!” Steve runs up to her for the most epic high-five in history. “How did it go? What did you do? I want to know everything.”

Max claps excitedly as she sits down and begins to tell him everything that happened, as Steve naturally brings her some snacks and drinks while they’re talking. It’s a slow day at work; Max can take all the time she wants to talk.

Steve is wrapped up on the cutest love story yet: that Max had planned to confess, but didn’t know El was planning to confess too, so they ended up doing it at the same time and laughing. Steve _has_ to coo over how cute it is, because goddamn, not even him on his best years got such a good love story.

Steve brings a chip to his mouth. God, girlfriends really are a once upon a time thing.

“I heard from El that you helped her out too,” Max starts.

Steve’s eyes widen slightly, brows shooting up a bit. “Are you… mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” he gets his shoulder punched a bit. “You didn’t even tell her I was planning to do it!”

“Well, ‘course not,” Steve huffs. “I’m a man of honor, of my word. I’d never actually sell you out like that, kid.”

“Secret’s safe with you?”

“Secret’s _always_ safe with me,” he smiles, holding up his pinky finger. Max takes it enthusiastically. “Did she compliment you, by the way?”

“Yeah, a lot. She said you told her to.”

He grins. “God, I’m so smart. Look at you two. I’ve successfully created a relationship.”

“Technically, _we_ did it.”

“…Let me have this, okay?” he shakes his head. “Whatever. I’m really happy for you two. I hope your relationship sails smoothly.”

“Yeah. Besides, girls are way better than stinky boys—we’ll have no problem.”

“ _Hey._ I’m a boy.”

“Yeah, but not stinky!”

Steve puts a hand on his chest. “Oh. I’m honored, kid, seriously.”

Max laughs again and it feels really nice. Steve (not for the first time while hanging out with kids) feels like he’s doing the right thing.

Hm.

Maybe he should consider the offer Robin keeps doing.

After Max leaves and Steve closes the store, he passes by Robin’s place, bringing her soup and whatever he needed to make his sick friend feel better. Once he told her about Max and El, though, she cheered up immediately, like she _never_ had been sick in the first place.

“I see your sickness is a lie,” Steve laughs. Robin rolls his eyes at him. “But yeah, they’re together now, thanks to me.”

“You mean thanks to _me_.”

“Mm, no, I’ll take credit. How do the kids _know_ you? That’s right. Through me.”

“Which one of us is the lesbian here, Steve?”

“There you go again — playing the lesbian card! I never win,” Steve sighs sarcastically, and Robin shoves in a playful manner. “I was thinking, though… maybe working with kids isn’t a bad idea. Don’t you think I’d make a cool school counselor? Helping kids whenever they need.”

Robin looks at him, strangely fond. “Yeah. You would.”

“Yeah,” now he feels a little exposed. That felt a little too vulnerable. “Yeah, maybe I would.”

♡

Strangely, when he sees El and Max walking into the store with their hands linked, he feels warm.

They both look really happy with each other, judging by their smiles and how they keep leaning on each other with every word, entertaining both Robin and Steve on a very boring job. They thank them for their help before they leave, and Steve stares at them go.

“Still thinking about the head counselor thing?” Robin asks gently.

“A little,” Steve admits. “They seem happy, don’t they?”

“They _are_ ,” Robin leans in on the counter, smiling. “You know, kids could use someone like you. Ex-douchebag turned babysitter realizes the good in life. They’d listen to someone who was in their shoes before and know how things will work out.”

“That’s a good point,” Steve hums quietly. “I like the sound of that, not gonna lie.”

“You wanna give it a go?”

“Maybe,” but it sounds more like a yes. “That involves a lot of studying, though.”

“I’ll help you.”

Steve looks at her. “Really?”

“Of course, dumbass. I’m your best friend and want the best for you. Idiot.”

Best friend.

Steve likes the sound of that. “Okay, bestie.”

“I’m having regrets about helping you now.”

“No, come on, bestie. You gotta help me be the _best_ counselor now, right? That’s what best friends are for.”

Steve’s never really had a best friend before. And, weirdest thing is, he didn’t even realize he had a best friend until those two kids. Guess more reason to help children — they always, always help _you_ in the end.

“I’m taking back the best friend card seeing as you don’t know how to act yet,” Robin turns around, and Steve belatedly panics.

“Wait! No! Best friend!” Steve chases after her. “No! You gotta help me babysit these kids! Who’s gonna be the lesbian voice of reason if not you, huh? _Huh_!”

Robin’s loud cackle makes him laugh in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> steve harrington.......... white boy of the month......... lgbtq protector for life.........
> 
> this really didn't mean to take a serious turn. i kinda just wanted to write max and el and steve but like. i thought abt it. and steve would make a good counselor, ykno. he's been thru shit and knows things get better, deals with kids spectacularly (as spectacularly as it gets) and is willing to help everyone always. god i love him. him and his gay best friend against the world. god i love steve
> 
> spare friendship :( thank u for reading <3  
> 
> 
> [tumblr](http://joshrikus.tumblr.com/)  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/joshriku/)  
> 


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